This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
