Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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