do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize