Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
