You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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