Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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