It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize