peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
