ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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