Need sex. Gaining weight.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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