The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize