his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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