Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
