You don't have asthma, your pregnant
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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