can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
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This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
it's like heaven, but drunker
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
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I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
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