You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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