he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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