Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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