we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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