he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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