she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
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i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
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First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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