think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
