i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
