the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
