I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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