Kiss
Puke
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
