I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
