When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
