You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
