what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
did you just send me my own nude
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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