I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Girls should come with a carfax report
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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