I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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