we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
