On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize