remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
