All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
