How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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