I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Randomize
