I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
