ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The power of my boobs compel you
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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