Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize