when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
