Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
