I wannas sexs uuuuu
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
