Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
