you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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