put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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