dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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