I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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