wakey wakey hands off snakey
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I need water and some morals
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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