the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
my poor anus
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
