He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
