carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
