I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
please come you make the beer taste better
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
