Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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