just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
