Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize