Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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